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American (Kitchen) Horror Story: The Top 10

American Horror Story - via FX
With speculation boiling over for the new FX series, American Horror Story, we decided see what was fueling the fire.

It definitely has the clout — check – fresh from the creators of (Glee, Nip/Tuck).

Dylan McDermott, American Horror Story

Throw in a chock-full-of-shock thrill fest, a re-imagined haunted house tale and an all-star cast including Jessica Lange and Dylan McDermott, and you’ve got a potential water cooler situation.

Inspired, Cooking Channel cleaned out the kitchen and found some homegrown horror of our own — sourced from a worst cook’s contest on a sister site.

TOP 10 FAVORITE AMERICAN KITCHEN HORROR STORIES:

1) The Volcano Cake

Brace yourselves…  This is actually a bundt cake. For reals. (And there IS a difference between all-purpose flour and self-rising flour.)

A Non Dormant Volcano Cake

2) Banana Bread FAIL

We shared this photo with our Culinary Staff to decipher what actually occurred here, but it remains a mystery like Bigfoot, the Yeti or the success of Snooki Polizzi.

Banana Bread Fail

3) Theresa’s UNHOLY Chicken Mole

Throwing cheese at the problem isn’t going to help you here, Theresa.

Theresa's Unholy Chicken Mole

4) Red Velvet RAGE Cake

Decorating angry won’t get you anywhere.

Red Velvet Rage

5) The Great Meatloaf Stuffed Peppers Monstrosity

These peppers: a) have been paved over with asphalt  b) mutated into caramel apples or c) are actually a band of rogue horseshoe crabs resting in the tomato patch for the night.

Meatloaf Stuffed Peppers Predicament

6) The ‘This Will Shut Your Piehole’ Pie

If you ever wondered how the continents formed, this is a nod to Pangea, as illustrated in peach pie.

The Gift of Pie

7) The ‘No Ace of Cakes’ Birthday Cake

Not sure if anyone got out alive here, let alone lived to see another year.

No Ace of Cakes

8 ) Cheese Dip of Death

It’s really all about plating.

Cheese Dip of Death

9) The Chocolate Marshmallow Pecan Whaaaat?

From the chef:   “A disaster of a creation by my husband and I with some leftover melted chocolate, some marshmallow cream and some pecans…  Needless to say, it did not produce the fudgy yumminess I thought it would, and wound up in the garbage.:(

Chocolate Marshall Pecan Nightmare

10) The San Andreas Cheesecake Faultline

Someday that entire cheesecake is going to fall right into the Pacific.

San Andreas Cheesecake Faultline

*BONUS:  Dead Alien or Fruit Pop Tart?

Since this wasn’t discovered anywhere near Area 51, we’ll have to go with pop tart but…

Dead Alien or Fruit Tart

Have a Kitchen Horror Story of your own? Share it below in the Comments or post your pictures up on our Facebook page.

And catch American Horror Story Wednesdays on FX.

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Comments (1250)

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    Christmas was a big event for our whole family. All of us would pitch in to make all manners of cookies, candy and pastries. We had the full turkey dinner or trays and trays of home made red enchiladas. As time went on, a lot of the family moved too far away to attend the yearly event. So one year my mom decided that she would cook for all of us since there would only be a handful of family present. Those of us that were coming asked several times if we could bring anything or help in any way. We were turned down every time with a happy tone, "I have everything covered."

    Our horror came when we went to mom's house on Christmas Eve. She had exchanged all the butter and sugar in the cookies and pastries for Splenda and margarine. It had horrible texture besides tasting bad. She wanted us to be more healthy she said, but the greatest shock was to come. She decided that she didn't want a mess in her kitchen so she served pre-made frozen lasagna as the main. It was a disaster of decorum and taste. Mom has not been aloud to host a get together since. We still give her a good ribbing every year.

    • Sarah Putnam posted 10/11/2011

      That sounds like the worst Christmas ever.

  2. The Devilish Dish posted 10/05/2011

    I've been cooking all my life, to I've had some horror stories of my own here and there. This one I just happened to take pictures of. My never fail cake pan decided to epically fail.
    http://thedevilishdish.blogspot.com/2011/06/even-

  3. Laura Muresan posted 10/06/2011

    Some of those probably taste pretty good, you'll just have to eat with your eyes closed.

  4. Sarah Putnam posted 10/07/2011

    My most recent kitchen disaster happened last night when I realized I used the wrong pan for my cookies. I ended up with a tray of nearly black, bitter tasting cookies. They ended up in the trash.

  5. Emily brookinz posted 10/07/2011

    Yeah,my brother likes to deepfry things when nobody's home,and we come home to the burnt oil smell!He might have a slight cooking problem,ha don't we all!

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