Nadia G.’s Booty Camp

Cooking Channel:  Nadia, you looked amazing in the Bitchin’ Christmas music video we saw last month. Around this time of year, people are looking for ways to drop a few pounds. What was your secret to fitting into that shiny, red spandex body suit?

Nadia G:  Tsaketa!  We had a lot of fun on that one, and I was definitely watching what I shkoffed leading up to the shoot. But I never skip meals. As the old Italian saying goes: “A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, and your thighs still shake for dinner.” Skipping meals makes your body think it’s starving, so it holds on to fat for dear life, literally. Always eat three to five logically portioned meals a day to keep your metabolism up.

Cooking:  We try to eat as often as possible, too — especially working here at Cooking Channel. What else do you recommend?

Nadia:  Only buy fresh ingredients. I can hear some people whining already: “But fresh ingredients are expensive!!!” Umm, no. Processed ingredients are expensive, check yourself. Ugh, now I can hear others complaining: “Goddamit! The freakin’ car battery is dead!” Never mind, that was just some random dude outside.

Cooking:  Nadia, you always have a way with words. What about cutting fat or cutting carbs — what’s your approach?

Nadia:  I always measure my fats. There’re 14 grams of fat in 1 tablespoon of olive oil! A drizzle here, a drizzle there, and before you know it you’ve shkoffed a day’s worth of fat and you haven’t even chewed any solids yet! Whatever you do, DON’T EYEBALL IT.

Cooking:  Got it. And can you share with us your workout routine?

Nadia:  The hardest part of getting into shape is staying motivated to exercise, arck! And that’s why I have a personal trainer; I’m too lazy to even cancel appointments. What? Don’t look at me like that — trainers can be cheap! You can find a fitness student on Craigslist who’s willing to work your booty for $20 an hour. You can also find personal trainers.

Cooking:  Speaking of personal trainers, doesn’t Hans have his own workout tapes?

Nadia:  Oh yeah. You gotta watch this:

Cooking:  Thanks Nadia!

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