Had you asked us a week ago if popchips could do wrong, we would have answered with a fervent, and loyal “no!” You see, we are totally mad for the somewhat healthy chips, and have been for quite some time. Alie’s loyalty even runs so deep that she knows which mini marts and gas stations in her neighborhood carry the flavor she likes best. True Story.
So we were disappointed, but more so, aghast, when we heard the news story that popchips had released a commercial with Ashton Kutcher playing a Bollywood director, brownface and all. Aside from wondering where the hell Mr. Kutcher’s handlers were when this decision was made, we were thoroughly confused as to why popchips would have even wanted this tacky display of obvious racism and just plain old bad taste.
Everyone knows that celebrity endorsements are a necessity in today’s overly commercialized world, but some of the endorsee’s decisions make us scratch our heads and wonder if the ad agency who came up with the idea wasn’t perhaps smoking the good sh*t. Here are a few of our favorite celebrity food endorsements that would have gotten some junior exec fired from Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce faster than you could say “WTF???”
Ozzy Osbourne: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
You can’t believe it’s not butter? Cause we can’t believe it’s the “Prince of Darkness” endorsing this butter substitute. Are we the only ones that wonder if that poor bat whose head he bit off would have tasted better with a little “fresh butter taste?”
Criss Angel: Orville Redenbacher Popcorn
While we admit that the commercial is a pretty good one, we’re still confused as to why magician Kris Angel is involved. If you control magical realms, wouldn’t you snack on ambrosia or unicorn jerky? Also, those pop-up bowls are the worst. Ask my kitchen floor, which got a popcorn shower while I was trying to open the package. Apparently, it takes a nimble-fingered magician to master the product.
Al Pacino: Vittoria Coffee
In what may be the most awkward commercial we’ve ever seen, legendary actor Al Pacino sings, or rather, gruffly speaks, the praises of a brand of coffee from Australia. We can only assume that Mr. Pacino isn’t hurting for money, so he must legitimately enjoy said coffee, right? We only wish that there had been a scene, ala Scarface, with Pacino jamming his face into a mound of ground coffee…how rad would that have been? Have Vittoria’s people call our people.
Paris Hilton: Carl’s Jr
Washing her own car and eating huge, calorie laden burgers are probably two of the last things you would equate with Paris Hilton, but apparently the ad execs at Carls Jr felt otherwise. We only wish there was an alternative, reality-based video of this commercial, as we can only daydream about how comically unsexy this would be. (Paris eats two bites of a salad while a servant buffs her Bentley.) Perhaps we should take on the challenge and make a “real girls eating burgers and washing their cars” video. At least we could hose the mustard off of our faces when we were done.
Padma Lakshmi: Carl’s Jr
Okay, it probably seems like we have it out for Carl’s Jr, but to be totally truthful, Georgia has never in her life refused a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and probably never will. But this is Georgia we’re talking about, not Top Chef’s Padma Lakshmi, who has a cookbook devoted to low-fat recipes. Also, are we the only ones who give the side-eye to the whole “sneaking out to eat a giant burger before normal dinner” theme going on here? Binge much?
Benicio Del Toro: Magnum Gold Ice Cream
What does actor Benicio Del Toro, robbery, and ice cream have in common? If you, like us, answered “nothing,” then apparently you don’t work for the marketing team behind Magnum Gold Ice Cream.
Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark are best friends who met outside a tragically hip dive bar in Los Angeles. Together, they created the cocktail abomination called the McNuggetini. You can find them on Cooking Channel stirring up Drinks with Alie and Georgia, getting schooled on Classy Ladies and devouring desserts for Unique Sweets. Find out more about them here.
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