Watch Cooking Channel

The Five Best Candies to Get on Halloween

Paul F. Tompkins

5) SMARTIES. These tiny discs of concentrated sugar contain enough tartness to serve as a perfect palate cleanser between your milk-chocolate-and-caramel courses.

4) BUTTERFINGER. Whatever the substance in this bar is that bonds like Gorilla Glue to your teeth makes this hearty treat last way, way longer than any other chocolate bar. You are done with it before it’s done with you. ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Clark Bar.

3) MILKY WAY MIDNIGHT. The candy bar that brought grown-up elegance to Hallowe’en. The hint of dark chocolate sophistication practically forces you to extend your pinky whilst gorging.

2) CANDY CORN. Not because it’s good. Because it’s not. What is this, the Great Depression? Why are we eating this brightly colored Appalachian wax? I’ll tell you why: because if you knew no pain, you’d never know joy. You eat candy corn because it’s there, and you can’t stop yourself. It’s still, thanks in large part to its name, TECHNICALLY candy. But when you eat some of the top-shelf stuff after a handful of these sad shapes, you appreciate the effort made by huge, faceless corporations.

1) REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS. For my money, the undisputed King of All Hallow’s Eve. Not the two-disc sleeve, not the miniatures in gold foil (the sweet-to-savory ratio is WAY off on those), I speak of the individual cups. And the packaging is ORANGE. Intelligent design? A case could be made!

PAUL F. TOMPKINS new comedy album LABORING UNDER DELUSIONS: LIVE IN BROOKLYN is now available on ASPECIALTHING RECORDS.  Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn and over 90 minutes in length, Tompkins’ powerhouse set includes a looser, expanded version of the outstanding material showcased by Tompkins in his Comedy Central special “Laboring Under Delusions.”

Get the album
on AST: http://astrecords.bigcartel.com/product/laboring-under-delusions-live-in-brooklyn
And on iTunes: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=569217481

More Paul F. Tompkins:
http://www.paulftompkins.com

Twitter: @PFTompkins

Tags:

Comments (1685)

  1. workout program for women posted 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    Title…

    [...]we prefer to honor several other world-wide-web websites around the net, even when they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages worth checking out[...]…

  2. top security companies posted 3 weeks ago

    Title…

    [...]we like to honor quite a few other net web sites around the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages really worth checking out[...]…

  3. Title…

    [...]below you will locate the link to some internet sites that we think you must visit[...]…

  4. mario badescu control cream posted 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Title…

    [...]usually posts some really intriguing stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[...]…

  5. barbershops posted 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Title…

    [...]The information mentioned inside the article are some of the very best readily available [...]…

  6. electric wheelchair posted 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Title…

    [...]usually posts some really interesting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[...]…

  7. kamagra le weekender posted 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    rmalar pozitionare…

    mbbrowserbon micros daysfight famillies agua landamento explode….

  8. DMA Portland posted 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Title…

    [...]usually posts some very interesting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[...]…

  9. deer antler velvet spray posted 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Title…

    [...]just beneath, are a lot of totally not connected web-sites to ours, nevertheless, they’re surely really worth going over[...]…

  10. Jamie TV posted 2 weeks ago

    Title…

    [...]that is the finish of this report. Here you will discover some internet sites that we believe you’ll enjoy, just click the links over[...]…

  11. שירה בציבור posted 2 weeks ago

    שירה בציבור…

  12. Title…

    [...]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine some unrelated information, nevertheless genuinely worth taking a search, whoa did a single understand about Mid East has got more problerms also [...]…

  13. pdr-training.net/‎ posted 2 weeks ago

    pdr-training.net/‎…

    [...]just beneath, are various completely not related sites to ours, nevertheless, they may be certainly worth going over[...]…

  14. rachael ray garcinia posted 1 week, 6 days ago

    Title…

    [...]Here is a superb Weblog You may Come across Intriguing that we Encourage You[...]…

  15. avalon malibu complaints posted 1 week, 5 days ago

    Title…

    [...]one of our visitors just lately encouraged the following website[...]…

  16. Amazon FireTV review posted 1 week, 5 days ago

    Title…

    [...]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but really don’t get a lot of link love from[...]…

  17. weight loss pills and colon cleanse posted 1 week, 4 days ago

    Title…

    [...]check beneath, are some completely unrelated web-sites to ours, having said that, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[...]…

  18. flock posted 1 week, 3 days ago

    Title…

    [...]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated information, nonetheless definitely worth taking a appear, whoa did 1 understand about Mid East has got far more problerms as well [...]…

  19. aslan posted 1 week, 3 days ago

    Title…

    [...]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[...]…

  20. subliminal cd posted 1 week, 3 days ago

    subliminal cd…

    [...]Here are a few of the web-sites we advise for our visitors[...]…

  21. deluxe checks promo code posted 1 week, 2 days ago

    Title…

    [...]that will be the finish of this report. Here you’ll discover some web pages that we think you will value, just click the links over[...]…

  22. enchant him system posted 1 week, 2 days ago

    Title…

    [...]the time to study or go to the subject material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[...]…

  23. how to increase testosterone posted 1 week, 2 days ago

    Title…

    [...]very handful of web-sites that take place to become in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively worth checking out[...]…

  24. striped bass charters posted 1 week, 1 day ago

    Title…

    [...]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but do not get quite a bit of link really like from[...]…

  25. bluefin tuna charters posted 1 week, 1 day ago

    Title…

    [...]that would be the finish of this article. Here you’ll come across some internet sites that we feel you will value, just click the hyperlinks over[...]…

  26. where can you buy garcinia cambogia posted 1 week, 1 day ago

    Title…

    [...]please pay a visit to the internet sites we comply with, which includes this a single, as it represents our picks through the web[...]…

  27. diet pills that work for women posted 1 week ago

    Title…

    [...]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I like but don’t get a good deal of link like from[...]…

  28. Frank Hanserd posted 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]here are some hyperlinks to sites that we link to due to the fact we feel they may be worth visiting[...]…

  29. Niseko Moiwa Ski Resort posted 6 days, 23 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]below you’ll discover the link to some web-sites that we assume you’ll want to visit[...]…

  30. messenger posted 5 days, 13 hours ago

    messenger…

  31. jeff schwartz avalon malibu posted 4 days, 18 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I love but don’t get quite a bit of link love from[...]…

  32. pieces detachees auto posted 4 days, 16 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]please pay a visit to the web sites we stick to, which includes this a single, as it represents our picks from the web[...]…

  33. DNA Wealth Blueprint scam posted 3 days, 7 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]very handful of web-sites that happen to be comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly nicely really worth checking out[...]…

  34. gry bilard online posted 3 days, 3 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]usually posts some incredibly fascinating stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[...]…

  35. mlm leads posted 2 days, 2 hours ago

    Title…

    [...]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[...]…

Post a New Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

c