Watch Cooking Channel

The Five Best Candies to Get on Halloween

Paul F. Tompkins

5) SMARTIES. These tiny discs of concentrated sugar contain enough tartness to serve as a perfect palate cleanser between your milk-chocolate-and-caramel courses.

4) BUTTERFINGER. Whatever the substance in this bar is that bonds like Gorilla Glue to your teeth makes this hearty treat last way, way longer than any other chocolate bar. You are done with it before it’s done with you. ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE: Clark Bar.

3) MILKY WAY MIDNIGHT. The candy bar that brought grown-up elegance to Hallowe’en. The hint of dark chocolate sophistication practically forces you to extend your pinky whilst gorging.

2) CANDY CORN. Not because it’s good. Because it’s not. What is this, the Great Depression? Why are we eating this brightly colored Appalachian wax? I’ll tell you why: because if you knew no pain, you’d never know joy. You eat candy corn because it’s there, and you can’t stop yourself. It’s still, thanks in large part to its name, TECHNICALLY candy. But when you eat some of the top-shelf stuff after a handful of these sad shapes, you appreciate the effort made by huge, faceless corporations.

1) REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS. For my money, the undisputed King of All Hallow’s Eve. Not the two-disc sleeve, not the miniatures in gold foil (the sweet-to-savory ratio is WAY off on those), I speak of the individual cups. And the packaging is ORANGE. Intelligent design? A case could be made!

PAUL F. TOMPKINS new comedy album LABORING UNDER DELUSIONS: LIVE IN BROOKLYN is now available on ASPECIALTHING RECORDS.  Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn and over 90 minutes in length, Tompkins’ powerhouse set includes a looser, expanded version of the outstanding material showcased by Tompkins in his Comedy Central special “Laboring Under Delusions.”

Get the album
on AST: http://astrecords.bigcartel.com/product/laboring-under-delusions-live-in-brooklyn
And on iTunes: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=569217481

More Paul F. Tompkins:
http://www.paulftompkins.com

Twitter: @PFTompkins

Tags:

Comments (1698)

  1. moreno valley jumpers posted 05/17/2013

    extremely intriguing…

    We’ve obtained rather lately ready an crucial site, that facts 1 offer employing this unique web net website includes offered your palm having a lot us significantly. Thanks generated for that latest work-time & produce a big change….

  2. get your x back posted 05/18/2013

    get your x back…

    [...]we came across a cool web page that you could appreciate. Take a appear if you want[...]…

  3. bulk party favors posted 05/18/2013

    bulk party favors…

    [...]Sites of interest we have a link to[...]…

  4. carcasa iphone 4 posted 05/19/2013

    carcasa iphone 4…

    [...]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated data, nonetheless truly really worth taking a appear, whoa did one particular understand about Mid East has got far more problerms also [...]…

  5. marque fashion posted 05/19/2013

    marque fashion…

    [...]please stop by the web-sites we adhere to, such as this a single, as it represents our picks in the web[...]…

  6. Letting agent Truro posted 05/20/2013

    Letting agent Truro…

    [...]usually posts some extremely interesting stuff like this. If you?re new to this site[...]…

  7. Best hosting Singapore posted 05/20/2013

    Best hosting Singapore…

    [...]the time to study or go to the content material or sites we’ve linked to beneath the[...]…

  8. Business opportunity posted 05/21/2013

    Business opportunity…

    [...]Here are some of the websites we advocate for our visitors[...]…

  9. Florida home owner insurance quote…

    [...]we prefer to honor many other net web sites around the internet, even though they aren?t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages really worth checking out[...]…

  10. Wholesale supplier posted 05/22/2013

    Wholesale supplier…

    [...]the time to study or visit the material or web pages we’ve linked to beneath the[...]…

  11. computer repair naples florida posted 05/22/2013

    Its hard to find good help…

    I am forever saying that its difficult to procure good help, but here is…

  12. skin care tips for teens posted 05/23/2013

    skin care tips for teens…

    [...]The information mentioned inside the post are several of the most beneficial accessible [...]…

  13. online forex currency trading posted 05/25/2013

    online forex currency trading…

    [...]the time to read or visit the content or websites we’ve linked to beneath the[...]…

  14. materace bonelowe posted 05/25/2013

    materace bonelowe…

  15. sex party video young sex part posted 05/25/2013

    sex party video young sex part…

    sex party video young sex parties young sex party with beautiful hotties getting…

  16. Sexy Japanese Idols posted 05/25/2013

    Sexy Japanese Idols…

    [...]very couple of internet sites that come about to be comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[...]…

  17. What is Organic SEO? posted 05/27/2013

    What is Organic SEO?…

  18. worldventures review posted 05/29/2013

    worldventures review…

    [...]one of our guests recently proposed the following website[...]…

  19. Daily motivation posted 05/29/2013

    Daily motivation…

    [...]we came across a cool web site that you simply might appreciate. Take a search when you want[...]…

  20. Ślusarz posted 05/30/2013

    Informative and precise…

    Its hard to find informative and precise info but here I found…

  21. Ślusarz posted 05/30/2013

    Its hard to find good help…

    I am regularly saying that its hard to procure good help, but here is…

  22. sex party video young sex part posted 06/02/2013

    sex party video young sex part…

    sex party video young sex parties young sex party video clips with two cute teen 2…

  23. health and fitness speaker posted 06/04/2013

    health and fitness speaker…

    [...]we came across a cool website that you might get pleasure from. Take a appear in case you want[...]…

  24. mortgage loan posted 06/06/2013

    mortgage loan…

    [...]the time to read or stop by the content or sites we’ve linked to below the[...]…

  25. Divulgador telexfree posted 06/14/2013

    Seja um divulgador telexfree…

    Venha ser um divulgador telexfree…

  26. buy ecstacy cigarettes posted 06/14/2013

    jenalyn jawabnya…

    hamai welcomes disclosed dialogul mkms thesession kidnapped….

  27. concrete paver stones posted 06/18/2013

    News info…

    I was reading the news and I saw this really interesting topic…

  28. city to city shuttle posted 06/22/2013

    city to city shuttle…

    [...]here are some links to web sites that we link to because we assume they’re really worth visiting[...]…

  29. Adzija Markicic posted 06/22/2013

    Adzija Markicic…

    [...]the time to read or go to the material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[...]…

  30. bettie shumblesonic…

    usero nguyen revetments hourly fajri kristisiegel prendre….

  31. internet marketers blog posted 06/24/2013

    internet marketers blog…

    [...]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine some unrelated information, nonetheless genuinely really worth taking a appear, whoa did 1 master about Mid East has got more problerms also [...]…

  32. Clinical Trial Supply Event 2013…

    Clinical Trial Supply and Logistics…

  33. Surveys For Money posted 06/26/2013

    Just Browsing…

    While I was surfing yesterday I noticed a excellent article about…

  34. CHEVY posted 06/27/2013

    CHEVY…

    [...]that will be the end of this report. Right here you will come across some web-sites that we consider you will value, just click the links over[...]…

  35. web design kolkata posted 06/27/2013

    Dreary Day…

    It was a dreary day here yesterday, so I just took to piddeling around on the internet and realized…

  36. free flash games online posted 06/27/2013

    Digg…

    While checking out DIGG today I found this…

  37. how much is yours worth? posted 06/28/2013

    advice…

    that will be the end of this report. Right here you’ll uncover some web sites that we think you’ll enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over…

  38. New Jersey posted 06/30/2013

    News info…

    I was reading the news and I saw this really cool info…

  39. paintless dent repair training posted 07/01/2013

    paintless dent repair training…

    [...]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get a great deal of link appreciate from[...]…

  40. sacs femmes posted 07/02/2013

    Tumblr article…

    I saw a writer writing about this on Tumblr and it linked to…

  41. une autre paire de manche posted 07/02/2013

    Dreary Day…

    It was a dreary day here yesterday, so I just took to messing around online and realized…

  42. look at this posted 07/02/2013

    click…

    always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a whole lot of link adore from…

  43. pulls cachemire posted 07/03/2013

    Looking around…

    I like to browse around the internet, often I will just go to Stumble Upon and read and check stuff out…

  44. paintless dent removal training…

    [...]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but really don’t get a whole lot of link love from[...]…

  45. Pet boutique posted 07/06/2013

    Pet boutique…

    [...]we came across a cool site that you just might take pleasure in. Take a look in case you want[...]…

  46. premature ejaculation pdf posted 07/07/2013

    editionmug penilaian…

    worthwhile logique instructie jpgcontoh accepts luke wayothers….

  47. casco ieftin posted 07/09/2013

    casco ieftin…

    [...]here are some links to websites that we link to simply because we think they’re worth visiting[...]…

  48. bouifrtusrgfdrtyszugxjgx posted 07/09/2013

    Title…

    [...]check beneath, are some absolutely unrelated web-sites to ours, on the other hand, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[...]…

  49. Codice Sconto posted 07/09/2013

    Codice Sconto…

    [...]here are some hyperlinks to web pages that we link to because we think they may be really worth visiting[...]…

  50. get free iphone5 posted 07/09/2013

    get free iphone5…

    [...]check below, are some completely unrelated sites to ours, on the other hand, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[...]…

Post a New Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

c