Are you tired of that one “friend” of yours always arranging the pizza so they get the giant slice and you get a pathetic, tiny slice? That’s no way to treat a person. We, the modest yet hungry citizens of the world, demand slice equality for all. To that end, here is a laser-guided pizza cutter.
Wait, what? That’s right. This laser-guided pizza cutter will make sure your homemade pizzas are always accurately sliced, thus ensuring no bad vibes and plenty of equally sated stomachs. It’s called the Tactical Laser Pizza Cutter, which calls to mind a military operation, which is actually perfect when you think about how intense those situations are. All you do is attach this to your average pizza cutting wheel and let it work its magic.
Of course, you could still use this to cut really, really straight slices in which seven take up 1/8th of the pie and one takes up the rest. No matter your intentions, you can grab one of these for around fifteen bucks.