Scientists Finally Invent Cavity-Free Candy

It was a good gig while it lasted, dentists. Your days of numbing our mouths and forcing us to peruse old copies of Highlights magazine are numbered. Why is that, you ask through a full breath of laughing gas? Scientists have invented candy that doesn’t cause cavities. Suck on that!

It’s true. Researchers at a biolab called Organo Balance are claiming to have finally perfected the formula for nonstop candy gluttony with absolutely no dental repercussions. The secret lies in a delicate balance of various mouth bacteria, with special care given to adding extra Lactobacillus paracasei. These “good” bacteria are known to bind the cavity-causing agents found in the “bad” bacteria. The result? A happy mouth filled with candy and a guilt-free conscious.

However, it must be noted that this candy still has a bunch of empty calories and a ton of sugar. So it’s not like it suddenly turned into broccoli or anything.

Note: Kelsey’s Homemade Pomegranate-Lime Lollipops (pictured above) may not prevent cavities, but they’re worth it.

Tags: