Whether you’ve got money riding on the office pool or you’re just tuning in for Bruno Mars, the Super Bowl is — let’s admit it — a national holiday. It’s the one day a year that we are all united in entertainment and brought together by the power of nachos.
While you may be staring a veritable melted-cheese bonanza in the face (find all manner of Super Bowl party foods here), don’t forget to hydrate! It’s a long day, so keep plenty of water on hand for yourself and guests, and leave room for cocktails. Below are some of our beverage recipes to match your Super Bowl moods and to tackle that thirst.
I’m So Pumped
Okay, so you’re pumped. You’re wearing a [insert sportball team name] jersey and have gotten up early to watch all the red carpet coverage, or whatever they do before Super Bowls. Sweet. Good for you. Get this morning kicked off right by slipping into your lucky sweatpants and mixing up some brunchy drinks that will get the party officially started. Such as:
The Beefy Tomato (pictured above)
A beef jerky-infused whole-blended-tomato Bloody Maria. It would be a serious fumble to pass this one up.
Tequila, lime, dusty sweet lavender and beeeeer floater. You will absolutely not care that this drink looks pink; it’s like a lumberjack getting a manicure so he can keep felling trees with his hands.
Don’t wait for your team’s triumphant win to pop the bubbly. This basil-strawberry-lambrusco libation is an herbaceous play on a mimosa and will signal to your brain and taste buds that the party has begun and the party is delicious.
I’m So Bored
Wait, so then what does that yellow line mean? Why do they keep moving the lines? How many points is a free throw to the goalpost? Which one of these dudes has been recently arrested? If you have more questions than interest, you may need to stoke the flames of alertness with a caffeinated cocktail.
Rummy, black-chai-infused, spicy and creamy, this should be sipped during all the boring parts between the cool commercials. Trust us.
Coffee got you through finals in college, and it’s there for you during football. Plus, it’s joined by its pal, booze, to really help you out. Espresso vodka, coffee, cream, a donut-hole garnish. Who cares who’s winning?
This one packs a serious caffeine punch, and that’s why we love it. Infuse vodka with Thai tea leaves, add some simple syrup and evaporated milk, and before you know it, you’ll have organized all the closets in the house, done your taxes and it’ll be the fifth quarter, or however they measure this game. (For a video tutorial and lots of bad puns, click here.)
I’m So Cold
It’s hard to care about the game when polar vortexes are sweeping through your state and you can’t feel your fingers. In the event of extreme cold, reach for these emergency warmer-uppers:
Irish whiskey, warm chamomile tea, a little digestif liqueur and agave to taste. Jack Frost, kiss my whiskey.
Just because grown men are ramming into each other like a swarm of angry moose doesn’t mean you can’t act civilized. Warm up your cold soul with a British-teatime-inspired cocktail that marries the flavors of Earl Grey and cream and keeps your temperature — along with your pinkies — up.
If you read the title, you get the gist of this cocktail. Hot chocolate plus orange brandy. The only way this could be a more perfect winter drink would be if a Saint Bernard delivered it to you in a barrel around its neck.
I’m So Bloated
Okay, the game is over, the nachos are gone and you have just eaten the salty corn dust from the bottom of a tortilla chip bag with your hands. You can go one of two ways here, buddy:
Embrace it. Restart your New Year’s resolutions tomorrow, dawg. But for now, grab some applejack, some cinnamon liqueur and an ENTIRE SLICE OF PIE and whiz it in the blender. Then drink it. Look, we’ll show you how.
As soon as you have gobbled up that one last pork slider, the post-Super Bowl diet begins. And what better way to celebrate healthy living than with a cocktail made of liver-cleansing ginger and beet juice? And gin. A little detox, a little retox. You’re doing a great job.
With that, happy Super Bowling! Remember to take a cab to the party if you’re not hosting and drink plenty of water and have your friends hide your keys in a manhole in the event that you enjoy too many of these cocktails! Because we love you.
Ambivalent about football but enthusiastic about parties,
Alie & Georgia