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Welcome to the Dystopia: Meat Made From Celebrities

In case you didn’t notice last night, our culture has sort of an unhealthy obsession with celebrities. Everywhere you look there are gossip sites and magazines dedicated to them, people doing impressions of them and, sigh, Tweets directed at them. People love them. People hate them. People hate other people that love them and love other people that hate them. It’s a mess. So what’s next? We may as well begin eating them.

A company called BiteLabs is starting to develop meats made from celebrities. Sound crazy? Absolutely. Scientifically possible? Unfortunately, yes. The idea is to take tissue samples from bona fide celebrities and turn those samples into salami. The process includes isolating muscle cells and then growing said meat in some sort of proprietary bioreactor. What celebs are destined to become hors d’oeuvres? The usual suspects: Kanye, James Franco, Jennifer Lawrence and, of course, Ellen Degeneres.

There is a chance this may be some sort of prank or publicity stunt but the creators have yet to relent, and science-wise, it is absolutely possible to grow in vitro meat using external cell cultures. It is exorbitantly expensive, however.

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