Sunday nights! We love them! Sure, a workweek is just around the corner, hiding under your alarm clock and waiting to scream you awake — but delicious delicious Sunday nights offer you 24 frames a second of dessert porn on Unique Sweets. And for the next 12 weeks, the Fox series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, starring narrator/astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, will answer your burning questions, like what is the universe and do we actually exist and are there aliens and what is time?
A series that delves into the mysteries of the universe can trigger a fun existential crisis, which means it’s scary to be alone. Plus, all that pondering about stardust and the nature of being is bound to make anyone hungry. So to properly enjoy the next few months of Sundays, consider hosting one — or 12 — space-themed viewing parties. But how do you get ready for a space party? You planet!
Your guests will be over the moon with these punny dishes, and since we’re but a gasp and a blip in the span of time, eat as much as you want! Nothing matters.
Shameless Pun Candy Options
In the original Cosmos, Carl Sagan said, “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” Since that’s super time-consuming (13 billion years), just hit the local grocery store and pick up these space-themed basics:
- Starburst Fruit Chews (duh)
- MoonPies (chocolate, marshmallows, delicious)
- Rocket pops (frozen but refreshing!)
- Astronaut ice cream (freeze-dried and available at toy stores and NASA headquarters)
- Orbit gum (Get it? Orbit?)
Now that you have a bushel of sweetness, be sure to load up on heartier snacks.
Shape a cheese ball to look like the moon and consider rolling it in lighter-colored pretzels to simulate lunar dust. Extra points if you stick a rocket, an American flag and a tiny astronaut figurine into it. Subtract points if you or any of your non-rocket scientist guests eat the astronaut by accident.
Get the recipe: Beer-Pretzel Cheese Ball
Looking for something meteor? (Get it? Meatier? We’re amazing.) Wrap a hot dog in premade puff pastry and bake it until golden brown, then serve with some condiments for dipping. Some quick math: Make more of these than there are guests. Trust us.
Need dessert inspiration? Look at this moon-replica cake! Really, you could make a cake shaped like any celestial body. Wrap some licorice around a cake orb and call it Saturn! Just don’t serve a -201 degrees C cake and call it Neptune. If you’re short on time or resources, serve one tiny cake pop, name it Pluto and make everyone split it. Insist, sadly, that it wasn’t a true dessert, but merely a “dwarf cake.”
Watch: Moon Cake
Frying up onions a la Nadia G. is an excellent way to pay homage to the prominent rings around Saturn, which are really made of space debris, not delicious fried onions. Eat as many onion rings as you like because the universe is vast and atoms are mostly space and everything is made up of mostly nothingness and fitting into your pants is meaningless.
Get the Recipe: Spicy Onion Rings
On the topic of our solar system and fried things, why not drop some Mars bars in hot oil? Go for it, tiger. All of our atoms will dissipate to form new things eventually! Put some ice cream on top and remember that even ice cream is made of starstuff.
Get the Recipe: Fried Mars Bars
Do you ever wish that a solid state of matter were actually liquid? Drink this Milky Way cocktail and conquer that longing with your brain and heart and mouth, you wonderful living organism. Raise a glass to our galaxy and say, “Here’s lookin’ at you, huge universe that I will never truly fathom.”
Get the Recipe: Milky Way Martini
And Finally, Cosmos.
Because pondering the vastness of space can be very sobering, treat your guests to some Cosmos — the tart pink libation that no one’s called a “Cosmopolitan” since before the ladies on “Sex and the City” drank it to death.
The classic Cosmo recipe calls for
1 1/2 ounces lemon vodka
1 ounce Triple Sec or orange liqueur
1 ounce cranberry juice
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juice
1 twist of orange rind
Shake ingredients over ice, serve in a martini glass and garnish with a twist of orange rind. But since our time on Earth is so limited, feel free to play around with the ingredients! Try an orange vodka, or pomegranate juice instead of cranberry! Heck, make a Clementine Cosmo if you feel like it! Or take the Alton Brown route and go for one made with Fresh Cranberry Granita. Hey did you know that the word granita derives from the texture of tiny, tiny ice particles? Tiny particles! That’s what we’re all made of, in a big, huge universe full of darkness, explosions and mystery.
Enjoy your party! We think it’ll be a big bang. Or rather, a big hit.
Alie & Georgia
PS Someone buy us these. They’re so stretchy.