If there’s one thing we can all get behind is the idea that alcohol is simply not portable enough. Sure, you can fill up an ironically decorated flask, but who has the pocket space in today’s day and age? No, liquid alcohol simply won’t do. There must be another form, some other way to do it. Well, consider your wish granted, introducing powdered alcohol.
The appropriately named Palcohol just got approved by the U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau so it should start appearing on liquor store shelves shortly. It works just like the juice mix. You add water and then stir. Soon you’ll be drunker than good ole Uncle Ernie at a family gathering. Just keep the ranting to a minimum.
What possible uses does this have over traditional alcohol? Well, if you were an unsavory type, you could sneak some in to the ballgame and save yourself from spending $15-20 per drink. Not saying you are an unsavory, but if you are that would do nicely. Oh yeah. It’s also lighter so you can jog with it stuffed in your wallet. There’s always that.