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Dunkin’ Donuts India Debuts Series of ‘Tough Guy Burgers’

Somewhere along the narrative of corporately-sponsored human history, the notion of masculinity became irrevocably tied to eating giant cheeseburgers. Nowadays, there is nothing tougher than downing a few calorie-laden burgers, heart disease be damned. Dunkin’ Donuts India is taking that idea and running with it.

They just introduced their series of self-proclaimed ‘Tough Guy Burgers.’ It must be noted that Indian culture doesn’t abide by too much consumption of red meat, so these burgers consist of chicken and yams. The Tough Guy Chicken Burger contains a chicken and chorizo patty, slices of paprika chicken breast, spicy mustard and the usual accoutrements of lettuce, tomato and cheese. The Tough Guy Veg Burger contains the toughest veg of them all: yams. It also has onions, cheese and a country salad. Both sandwiches are topped by bagels.

The marketing advertises them as Huge! Rugged! and Spicy!, so you certainly wouldn’t want to run into anybody eating one in a dark alley.

Ramen Burger Creator Concocts More Ramen-Topped Sandwiches

The biggest food story of 2013 was absolutely, well, the Cronut. However, the second biggest food story of 2013 was undoubtedly the Ramen Burger. This Brooklyn-based creation is essentially a hamburger squeezed between two patties of scrunched together ramen noodles. This radical pairing was an instant success, with lines routinely stretching around the block. Now the burger’s creator, Keizo Shimamoto, is back with a suite of similar sandwiches.

Shimamoto’s first new concoction is the Breakfast Ramen Burger, which pairs ramen patties with eggs, cheese and sausage. Next is the Adobo Shack Ramen Burger, which slips pork belly braised in soy sauce and vinegar between the titular ramen patties. Finally, there’s the Lonestar Empire Ramen Burger that throws a thick cut of brisket, pickle slices and barbecue sauce into the mix.

As with the original Ramen Burger, these sammys can only be purchased at Brooklyn’s Smorgasburg. If you can’t make it to Brooklyn, you could always just buy a couple packets of ramen and mix in your own scrambled eggs.

If You Can Eat This Giant Bowl of Curry, You’ll Get $1,000

Contrary to popular belief, America isn’t the only country on Earth that is obsessed with food. Other lands indulge in competitive eating, buffet culture and just plain ole gluttony. After all, one of the world’s most prized hot dog eaters hails from Japan and his taste for the extreme had to come from somewhere. Perhaps here is that somewhere.

A Japanese curry joint called Gold Curry has recently begun offering up a totally intense challenge. If you can down a gigantic and heavy (10 kilogram) plate of curry, you’ll win a whopping $1,000. Before you start planning your trip, however, it is worth noting that 10 kilograms works out to almost 22 of our American pounds. That’s right. You’ll have to eat 22 pounds of curry rice in one sitting. That’s like eating 60 slices of pizza.

The restaurant also offers up less extreme challenges, where the prizes equal out to a free meal or smaller cash amounts. If you are going to indulge, though, you may as well try to win that sweet $1,000. You can spend the bulk of it on hospital bills! It’ll be a cool memory.

Worlds Collide With These Mountain Dew-Flavored Cheetos

It used to be that soda was soda and gross snacks were gross snacks and never the twain shall meet. Well, don’t look now because it seems multinational corporations are getting ideas from your middle school sleepovers. Here is the soda/snack hybrid of your nightmares dreams.

Cheetos have teamed up with Mountain Dew to bring the world, uh, Mountain Dew Cheetos. As the name suggests, these offer the crunch of Cheetos with all of the extreme paragliding wonderment of a can of Mountain Dew. Just what the world has been asking for. Oh wait. Nobody has asked for this ever.

In case you want to try a bag as a dare or to be ironic or whatever, they are only available in Japan for now. You can, however, buy some online at $3.80 a pop.

Here is a Burger with Potato Chips and PBJ Sandwiches For a Bun

It’s that time of year again. It’s time for those New Year’s resolutions everyone felt so good about a week ago to fall by the wayside. In other words, it’s time to get drunk, give up the gym membership and eat tons of burgers. On that last one, here is a burger that is so decadent, it could ruin just about every resolution you’ve made, ever.

Philadelphia’s PYT, who are no stranger to novelty burgers, are back with something extremely nuts. Introducing their PB&J Bun Burger. First of all, this burger has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for buns. That’s not all. These sandwiches are fried and covered in potato chips. Oh yeah, the beef is also marinated in bananas and Sriracha sauce, and of course there’s plenty of bacon.

This nasty beast will be available only in January, so if you have a hankering for a heart attack, bring your defibrillator to Philadelphia.

Here is a Vending Machine that Pumps Out Fresh Burritos

Science has repeatedly proven that burritos are totally awesome. These meat and cheese-filled cylinders are a staple of dinner tables and college dorms everywhere. However, unless you are a microwave addict, you have to either prepare one yourself or make the dreaded haul to a restaurant. If only there was a slightly easier way to get your ‘rito fix.

There is. Introducing Burritobox, the world’s first burrito vending machine. All of the machine’s burritos are 100 percent natural, with no hormones or antibiotics. They even put cage-free eggs in the breakfast burritos. They aren’t customizable, as this is a vending machine and not Chipotle. Still, you can push buttons to add sour cream, guacamole or hot sauce. They take sixty seconds to prepare, during which time you are treated to a music video, or even better, a bona fide advertisement!

If you are in the Los Angeles area, you can get your very own robotically created burrito at two locations along Santa Monica Blvd. Or, you could hit up one of around 95 Taco Bells that also rest along Santa Monica Blvd.

Today in Food Tech: 2-in-1 Chopsticks and a Slow Cooker Bag

It’s a story as old as time itself. Man discovers fire. Man uses fire to make steak. Technology and food creation (and consumption) have been bosom buddies ever since the first caveman whittled a spatula out of a dinosaur bone or whatever. Here are two new tech-heavy kitchen doodads that will ensure you don’t call for takeout — for a few days at least.

First up, the chopsticks that rest together, uh, ingest together. Introducing these pairs of double helix chopsticks, created by Japanese manufacturer Nendo. They use magnets to stick together when not in use, thus ensuring you’ll never lose just one in the dark recesses of your cupboard. However, now losing both at once is a bit easier.

Next, a slow cooker in a bag so you can lug around something stylish that is actually filled to the brim with stew. Here is the Wonderbag, and it is actually quite useful. You can bring it to a boil for five minutes and then shut off the power. The insulated bag does all the magic. You can get one for around $50.

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Here is a Gourmet Deli Counter For Man’s Best Friend

Is there anything we won’t do for our furry companions? Pampering dogs has become quite a booming business, particularly in big cities. You can take your prized pooch to a massage parlor, a beauty salon and, yes, even a psychiatrist (dogs get bummed, too.) Now, thanks to a new German eatery, you can also take them to get some quality deli meats.

Germany has just unveiled the appropriately named Pets Deli, letting owners create fantastic meals for their companions. Each meal consists of a meat, a carb and vegetables. There are no animal byproducts or “crude proteins” here. Pets Deli is all about real, quality meat, and offers standard proteins like chicken and beef but also more exotic fare like kangaroo.

The meals are on the pricey side, clocking in at around $6-$8 for a single serving. Sure, that may be what you usually spend for an entire week’s worth of dog food but is anything too good for dear old Max?

Wendy’s Japan Gets Fancy With a Premium Snow Crab Burger

Fast food restaurants don’t often go for fancy. Aside from Burger King’s short-lived attempt to be a sit down restaurant, there aren’t many examples of a chain trying to get either hoity or toity. Get your tiaras ready, however, Wendy’s Japan is doing just that.

The Japanese chain has just unveiled their Snow Crab Burger. This is, as the name suggests, a beef burger topped with snow crab. Toppings also include shrimp bisque, spring greens and cheese sauce.  In any event, it’s good to see crabs and cows finally getting to hang out.

This crustacean-laced burger is only available for a limited time. It’ll disappear from beaches at at the end of winter.

This Lady Ate Only Starbucks For a Whole Year

Sometimes people can do absolutely incredible things. The pyramids, the Olympic games, Breaking Bad.  Also, oh yeah, there’s a lady who spent 2013 eating exclusively at Starbucks. 

The story we reported on almost a year ago today about a Seattle woman named Beautiful Existence (yep) completed the marvelous feat of culinary strength, eating every single meal at the famous coffee chain for an entire year. Why would a person spend $600 a month to do something like that?

“So again, WHY? am I doing this challenge? Or WHY? will I do any challenge in the future? Because I LOVE being human and I LOVE the privilege of being able to ask the question WHY? in the first place!” she says. 

Not to rain on her parade, but it must be noted that Starbucks has all kinds of food options nowadays. It’s not like she dined on donuts and creamer for a year. Maybe in 2014.

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