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Overheard at Trader Joe’s: The Couples Edition

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Trader Joe’s isn’t like other grocery chains. Aside from having a great selection of healthy(ish) food and nice wines, it’s typically a pretty small store, so shopping there tends to be an intimate experience. Picking up kitchen staples means frequently brushing arms with fellow shoppers, and accidentally listening to their conversations. Of course, by “accidentally” we mean “intentionally” and by “conversation” we mean “couples’ passive-aggressive bickering.”

Sure, sometimes a conversation is just a conversation, but we’ve found that if you really focus on tone, body language and clenched teeth, you can read the hidden meaning in the seemingly casual Trader Joe’s chitchat between couples. Like Jane Goodall in the jungle, we’ve spent some time in the aisles, observing and interpreting the exchanges between human partners. Below is what we heard — and their actual meanings.

So if you’re single and seeing couples grocery shop together bums you out, now you can relish your singledom. Or if you’re actually one of those couples, know that we’re eavesdropping on you.

Overheard at Trader Joe’s

“I’m pretty sure we’re out of dish soap, right?”
You would know that if you ever did the dishes.

“Should we try the light beer?”
I don’t know how to tell you that you’ve gained weight and that I’m not attracted to your belly.

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